let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
