oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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