Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
