I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
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