you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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