I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
