Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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