If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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