the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
