what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
