worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
