I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.