Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
