Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
