you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
