she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
