I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
OPIZZABONMYDICK
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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