and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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