He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
