so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
