we're blogging at a bar
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well I just put wine in my tea
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
