I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
