she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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