Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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