yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
