Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
