You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
