he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
