90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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