Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
