I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
