Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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