What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
