So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
