Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
