he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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