My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You are the jesus of drinking
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
