grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
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A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
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Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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