Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
