Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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