Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
These tits shall not be calmed
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