I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
