I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize