Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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