Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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