Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
