Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
