I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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