Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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