I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
