Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
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All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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