dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My ass is underappreciated
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
