She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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