DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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