this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
