I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
