i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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