so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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