so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
