I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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