I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
FUCK WHALES
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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