from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
