I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
