i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
why didn't you poke me back
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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