this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
